The Motor Forum

Eff One

Dear God. Modern cars must surely be going backwards. In April I was saddled with an Astra which was shockingly awful to drive, but did at least feel like it would last.

Last week in Provence I had the (very) dubious pleasure of a metallic burgundy Citroen C2 somethingorother. I was informed by the National attendant that it was a petrol manual, though it gave little sign of having an engine at all.

Apparently made of recycled baked bean cans and with all the perceived build quality of a crate of plastic spoons, it was so utterly lacking in steering feel that I'd have felt safer in a shopping trolley. It managed to feel harshly damped and wallowy at the same time - a neat trick - and someone had obviously connected up the brakes with the internals of a light switch.

I'm battling to find some positives. The aircon was effective and welcome in 35C heat, and it was very economical - although I'd have expected nothing less from about 3bhp. It didn't break down in the three days I had it, but every time I changed gear or switched on the aircon it felt as if the entire drivetrain was about to deposit itself all over the road.

What an utter, utter shitheap. I simply cannot believe that anyone with two brain cells to rub together would pay £9k for one. And before anyone asks, no I didn't take any bloody pictures of it. I never wanted to see it again.
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"him" · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 12:29 pm Post subject:

Did you take any... OH!
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Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 12:33 pm Post subject:

I wish when people review their holiday rental cars, they'd get off the fence a little and say what they really think, rather than the usual anodyne stuff ...

Gurney · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:24 pm Post subject:

Reading between the lines, not Citroens finest hour then.
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"him" · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:28 pm Post subject:

I would say 7/10, but I am detecting some negativity...
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Remember - A gym without chalk is a heath spa...

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:44 pm Post subject:

The sort of stuff Autocar would have under "jobs for the facelift" in their road tests, you mean?

Eff One · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 2:08 pm Post subject:

Was I not crystal enough?

I've driven better resolved, more desirable Dodgems.
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"Racing is life. Everything before and after is just waiting." Steve McQueen

Twelfth Monkey · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 3:09 pm Post subject:

What a wonderfully scathing review. Well done that man.
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"Accident Blackspot"? These aren't accidents. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly. Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness.'

maz · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 5:31 pm Post subject:

better than walking !

Gurney · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 5:54 pm Post subject:

Frank Bullitt · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 9:53 pm Post subject:

We test-drove a C2 1.1 in 2003. I remember little about it although the complete lack of performance was one of them - it had shat-all once you hit 50mph; I'd imagine with A/C that would be worse! Put it this way, the 44bhp smart pure felt quicker!

I do seem to remember it being quite comfy though, with a decent driving position. However, it was out-performed by the Renault Clio (2001 model, whatver version that was - Clio 3?) in every single way, and the salesman (named the grim reaper by my wife) didn't help.
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Shame your mind don't shine like your possessions

Pkh72 · Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:16 am Post subject:

Nice write up

I'm looking forward to Steve Cropley adopting a similar style next time he does a road test rather than the current 'creaming himself about how good it is' method he has.

Frank Bullitt · Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:46 pm Post subject:

PG · Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:25 am Post subject:

It must have been a very duff one. Usually, small holiday hire cars are the fastest cars on the road. I even enjoyed a Pug 206 in Italy - one could achieve an almost Zen-like one-ness bouncing it off the rev limiter up and down the Tscanny hills.

Rodge · Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 9:52 am Post subject:

No Queefing about it then? No 'Dab of Oppo'?
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Eff One · Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:02 am Post subject:

Blarno · Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 12:30 am Post subject:

I had a 1.4 C3 as a hire car when I was in Crete in 2005.

It was shit, simple as that. Wheezy, asthmatic engine, interior made from the inside of Milk Tray boxes and the handbrake was crap. What's the point of having a hire car on dusty Greek roads if you can't get a bit of handbrake action on the go?
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Martin · Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:05 pm Post subject:

I'd never book a hire car at the bottom end of the scale as it's always going to be a shite car, it shouldn't be a surprise!

Mind you, my last 2 holiday hire cars were a Hummer and Lincoln and my next one will be a Chrysler 300, so not exactly the best cars in the world! However, size does matter....
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PG · Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:11 pm Post subject:

Frank Bullitt · Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:21 pm Post subject:

Blarno · Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:41 pm Post subject:

^^ My Stepdad got lumped with a 0.9 Atos at the same time I had the C3. Shortest straw there...
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Arms held out, in the Jesus Christ Pose.

Eff One · Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:17 am Post subject:

SpecB · Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 10:27 am Post subject:

The only thing I really ask of a holiday hire car is decent a/c and that it is comfortable.

Saying that I always book group C but that is mainly for the comfort point of view. I have booked an SUV for the upcoming USA trip - the last time I was in the States I booked a Focus and it was terrifyingly bad and tiny compared everything else on the roads. It drove nothing like a UK version at all. I wanted something like a Mustang but they had sold out in Detroit back in the spring.
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Mark

"him" · Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:32 am Post subject:

Martin · Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 8:51 pm Post subject:

"him" · Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:32 pm Post subject:

Martin · Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:59 pm Post subject:

My parents have one for running around town, so I know exactly what it's like to drive.

It doesn't hold much appeal....!!

It's not that bad actually, but just not my sort of thing and the thought of having one on holiday doesn't fill me with joy.
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