The Motor Forum

canadian bacon · Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 11:01 pm Post subject:

also:

what does the ECT (snow) Mode on a lexus rx 300 do ? We still don't know......
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finally 27 degrees at the weekend, summers here(ish) ......

canadian bacon · Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 11:03 pm Post subject:

Rodge · Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 11:38 pm Post subject:

Mrs Skyhook · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:32 am Post subject:

Man Maffs: mathematical calculations done by the male of the species, who can add up to 23 (so long as he takes off his socks and pants).

CB's froggy is probably the cutest car in the world, and I am insanely jealous.

Michael really has been smug and loathsome since 1979, don't try to emulate him unless you can be equally funny.

My avatar is ironic, posting puerile comments about it will merely prove you have the sense of humour of an 11 year old boy. If you want to discuss it (them), please feel free to email me at busty_wench@boobs4u.com. Ensure you have a valid credit card available.

Piers is our biggest car nerd, even going so far as to vacuum stripes on the mats. We haven't found a wheel he likes yet, but we continue to try. He also has a purely platonic relationship (he assures us) with Louise Goodman. This is a great shame, but then again a man who takes his alloys off to clean behind them with a toothbrush doesn't have time for a relationship with a TV presenter. He gives marvellous hugs, and once did me the honour of buying me an ice cream after a hailstorm. Always an absolute pleasure to meet and chat with (and watch scampering around a Mercedes like a little boy in a sweetie shop).

Forum meets: always wonderful, always interesting (even for a non-car nerd like me) and always (for some reason) involving beer (and usually more great hugs from forum members).

The plane does take off. If you don't understand why, please feel free to pm either myself or Racing (whose fault it was in the first place).

My signature really does make sense, and even has a car reference.

Skyhook - never knowingly posted sober, and sees no shame in that. Able to start a fight in an empty room and is still not guaranteed to win. Drives the perfect car (for him), it being the small and evil SportKa SE (why is the SE so bloody important?). Short arse with a big mouth. The love of my life, and my husband. Lucky girl I am.
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Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades. Et braccae tuae aperiuntur.

BeN · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:11 am Post subject:

Rodge · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 8:23 am Post subject:

You may have noticed the Today's Automotive Villain Is... thread.

The most frequent poster lives in the land of the quivering javelin, home of Britains worst drivers (Watch Sky One and you'll see).

A land that has been burdened with the presence of Glyn Slade of Stratford Blue Coaches. He dislikes everyone apparently.
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http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm...ds.individual&VideoID=2869045

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:30 am Post subject:

M. · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:48 am Post subject:

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:53 am Post subject:

Well at least Dradus can't say people are ignoring him this time round ...

PG · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:12 pm Post subject:

Skyhook · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:11 pm Post subject:

Sportka (SE)
The SE suffix denotes a higher spec model than the mere Sportka. The insisted use of the said SE after every mention of ‘Sportka’ should definitely not be taken as a sign that the driver is a car snob – he's definitely not the type who refuses to wind down his windows on hot Summer days in case people mistake him for a pleb who doesn't have air-conditioning.

Which, incidentally, the SE has.

And half leather seats.
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Sleeping is giving in, no matter what the time is...

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:13 pm Post subject:

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:16 pm Post subject:

Getting names right

An obsession among the more OCD-afflicted members: it's smart not Smart, MINI not Mini (unless it's an original Mini), and - my own special one - it's Porsch-er, not Porsch.

See also SportKa SE ...

scamper · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:16 pm Post subject:

`BMW' Threads

Someone starts a thread about an Alfa and the art is to turn it into talking about BMW's within 6 posts.

GonnaBreakABuggy · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:19 pm Post subject:

'UPGRADE' Threads

Someone posts about the cost of Alfa upgrades and and the next 6 posts point out that he could have bought a BMW for that.

Or a Mac.

scamper · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:21 pm Post subject:

Preventative maintenance

An excuse by Alfa owners as to why they have just spent 4 zillion pounds on maintaining (fixing) their GTA.

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:24 pm Post subject:

Surely the BMW thing is not restricted to Alfa-related threads.

M. · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:26 pm Post subject:

Skyhook · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:26 pm Post subject:

Percussive Maintenance

Or 'hitting things with a big spanner'. Carried out by Alfa owners who haven't just spent 4 zillion pounds on maintaining their GTA.
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Sleeping is giving in, no matter what the time is...

M. · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:28 pm Post subject:

Avoiding Maintenance

Buying a BMW because you know big bills are due on your Alfa.
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Generic reply key:
1. Happy birthday
2. Congratulations
3.

4. Good luck
5. Buy a mac

scamper · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:30 pm Post subject:

Girls Car

Such wit. A Smug Kraft expression directed at MX5's. Actually funny when shouted over the shoulder of a very enthusiastic but serious MX5 owners club member who was admiring my `Maz'.

Racing · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:30 pm Post subject:

I've got a new one:

Kraft Cheese Slice

Denotes the inevitable quirky French car that a certain forummer will at some stage add to more or less any thread about more or less anything.
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scamper · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:33 pm Post subject:

Racing · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:34 pm Post subject:

scamper · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:37 pm Post subject:

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:44 pm Post subject:

FWD/RWD/4WD

The longest running argument on the forum. A front wheel drive car clearly shows its owner is not an enthusiast, whereas a rear wheel drive car is driven by a twunt who imagines they're a driving God, but have in fact been saved innumerable times by electronics and modern tyre technology. And therefore four wheel drive is best unless you work for Ford, in which case it's FG.

Skyhook · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:46 pm Post subject:

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:49 pm Post subject:

Big TC · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:09 pm Post subject:

Requests for car-buying advice

It is Forum law that if anyone seeks advice to which car to consider buying, the first BMW suggestion MUST be within 4 posts. Whatever the requirements of the original poster.
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It's a '57 Pontiac Star Chief, dontchaknow.

"him" · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:12 pm Post subject:

Skyhook · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:18 pm Post subject:

”I wish you no ill will, other than wishing you dead”

While lamenting the shocking standards of driving that Piers witnesses on an almost daily basis, his reports of On the Road Villainy are always eagerly anticipated, not least for the ever inventive and entertaining fates wished upon the hapless muppets he encounters.
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Sleeping is giving in, no matter what the time is...

PG · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 4:21 pm Post subject:

Skyhook · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 4:26 pm Post subject:

Big TC · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:08 pm Post subject:

Indentify the mystery car

It doesn't matter what picture is posted, Colin or Dan will correctly identify the vehicle within 4 posts. Even if the picture is of a car you built yourself, in total secret, in a lock-up at the bottom of your garden.
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It's a '57 Pontiac Star Chief, dontchaknow.

PR · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:05 pm Post subject:

scamper · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:33 am Post subject:

Which leads us onto Spotters

BMW owners who will hijack a random thread to talk about the ins and outs of BMW or even audi/vw specs.

And you will find Piers i think the 320d has a chrome exhaust for the 2008 model year?

Twelfth Monkey · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:47 am Post subject:

Whilst all true and mostly amusing, I fear that this thread will have the opposite effect to that intended. It may well amuse us, but I'm not sure it will do anything at all to encourage newcomers. I hope I'm wrong.

A bullet-point summary by the administrator is about as far as most sites would go, with, I suspect, good reason.
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"Accident Blackspot"? These aren't accidents. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly. Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness.'

Skyhook · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:11 am Post subject:

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:37 am Post subject:

I hope that anyone joining here would have enough of a sense of humour to find this amusing (though perhaps the title could be changed to reflect this). And it is useful to have a guide to forum in-jokes: every forum I've ever joined has a load of expressions like our own NFG and ETC-snow-mode, so it's good to be able to find out what they mean. You can always ask, but on less friendly forums you're as likely to get abuse as an explanataion.

M. · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:48 am Post subject:

The bullet points is broadly what I had in mind as we've been acused of cliquiness and 'in jokes' this was a way of overcoming the latter. Sort of worked!
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Generic reply key:
1. Happy birthday
2. Congratulations
3.

4. Good luck
5. Buy a mac

scamper · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:57 am Post subject:

woof woof · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:50 am Post subject:

"...And such advice must then be completely ignored...Also known as 'Doing an alan'"

oi! All input from you humans is welcme and does help me to make what's probably the wrong decision, for me, but it has to be my decision. Otherwise I'll get depressed or buy the wrong telly.

Soz to take this even further off thread...
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woof woof's defence lawyer claimed that "Booze played no part in his typo's."

Confucius says "all reckless speeding is caused by accidents."

Racing · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:30 pm Post subject:

Doing an Alan

should shurely be: "introducing a latent or patent sexual content into a thread"
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Skyhook · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:55 pm Post subject:

DradusContact · Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:23 am Post subject:

Ford Puma

The most versatile, all rounder car ever created by man. No matter what you car needs, i will not hesitate to point out to you the versatility of puma will fill your needs perfectly. I even have a fancy graph, that i didnt just make in excel, to prove this beyond any reasonable doubt.

[img]

[/img]

(1997 was the launch year)

As you can tragically see, automtive progress is now falling and by 2050 it will only be at only 70 Pumans (theyre like Newtons but better)
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"him" · Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:25 am Post subject:

<--- 1997 was indeed a good year for the automotive industry...

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Remember - A gym without chalk is a heath spa...

BeN · Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:46 am Post subject:

Depression

Some of us are prone to the occasional bout of depression.

Alan's one is like a switch. It comes on and off (currently it's off, thankfully.

)

Chris M, at one point in time, seemed to be in an eternal state of depression, though he seemed fine enough through my various encounters with him offline.

Me too, was once struck with depression, which made me want to leave the forum, then return, then leave again, and return....
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On the other side of the world - Hurlecot de Millou

Not the same since 2008

Dr. Hfuhruhurr · Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:58 am Post subject:

You're nearly right, Dradus - it's actually 997 that represents the peak of automotive perfection ...

"him" · Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:00 am Post subject: