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Twelfth Monkey

The Beast is no more...

...at least the name is hereby consigned to the dustbin, the car's fine.

From this week's Autocar:

Reader Peter Swales recited the pros and cons of diesel, saying 'There has been a lot of diesel engine development in the last ten years.'
I totally agree.  My current BMW 430d M Sport is awesome.  It gives me endless pleasure by destroying unwitting supercar drivers but has returned 42mpg over the 6,500 miles covered since I picked it up a year ago.
I also have a Porsche 718 Boxster (I know, lucky man) and a Mini Cooper, but my wife and I have nicknamed the 430d 'Theb', short for 'The Beast'.
Peter, Theb will fight anything, any day, any time - so you're right, diesel can fight back.'


Philip Lunn of Tunbridge Wells, I don't know where to begin...
boc70

Relax, girls, he's married...
Martin

Dreadful in every way.
Giant

Given the regularity that this threads warrants a new addition, shouldn't it be renamed 'Wanker of the Week'?

Edit: wrong thread!
Scouse

Re: The Beast is no more...

Twelfth Monkey wrote:
...at least the name is hereby consigned to the dustbin, the car's fine.

From this week's Autocar:

Reader Peter Swales recited the pros and cons of diesel, saying 'There has been a lot of diesel engine development in the last ten years.'
I totally agree.  My current BMW 430d M Sport is awesome.  It gives me endless pleasure by destroying unwitting supercar drivers but has returned 42mpg over the 6,500 miles covered since I picked it up a year ago.
I also have a Porsche 718 Boxster (I know, lucky man) and a Mini Cooper, but my wife and I have nicknamed the 430d 'Theb', short for 'The Beast'.
Peter, Theb will fight anything, any day, any time - so you're right, diesel can fight back.'


Philip Lunn of Tunbridge Wells, I don't know where to begin...

I do


Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt
PG

I'm sorry, I just vomited.
Alf McQueef

Oh god - you do so need a new nickname for that car!!

I bet supercar drivers are quaking in their boots. I'm trembling at the prospect of being "destroyed" myself  
Giant

Given I work in and around Tunbridge Wells I'm sure I'll come across Phillip and Theb at some point, sadly.
Alf McQueef

Giant wrote:
Given I work in and around Tunbridge Wells I'm sure I'll come across Phillip and Theb at some point, sadly.


Maybe you'll come across his wife. She'd probably be glad for the attention   If she's real.
gooner

He could have at least upgraded to a 435d, though even then he'd not gain himself much more credibility.
Twelfth Monkey

Alf McQueef wrote:
Oh god - you do so need a new nickname for that car!


Any suggestions?

Letter to the mag via email this morning:

I have a question, but I’ll qualify it first.  This isn’t rhetorical, and I am not saying that I am a perfect driver.  Despite an age that should suggest maturity, I still engage in the odd traffic light Grand Prix, and I am ashamed to say that I do still react on occasion when I perceive that I am the victim of others’ aggressive driving.  So, the question – is it appropriate for Autocar to publish a letter in which the author describes his pleasure in ‘destroying’ other cars, and that his car is ready to ‘fight anything, any day, any time’?

It may be a sign of some creeping maturity in that I have my doubts that it is.


I figure that has more chance of being published than saying what I think!
Big Blue

I'd love to come across his 430d in the Gorilla Do you reckon he'd write a letter in then?

6500 miles in a year in a diesel? What the fuck is the point of that? He's spent more on buying a oiler than he'll ever hope to get back in fuel consumption.

Dickhead!
Chris M Wanted a V-10

Big Blue wrote:
6500 miles in a year in a diesel? What the fuck is the point of that? He's spent more on buying a oiler than he'll ever hope to get back in fuel consumption.

Better consumption is not the only reason that people buy diesels..... for one, there is their more relaxed method of power delivery than revving the nuts off a petrol engine.  Not all of us want to drive like boy-racers on the public highway, you know !
DetmoldDick

Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
Big Blue wrote:
6500 miles in a year in a diesel? What the fuck is the point of that? He's spent more on buying a oiler than he'll ever hope to get back in fuel consumption.

Better consumption is not the only reason that people buy diesels..... for one, there is their more relaxed method of power delivery than revving the nuts off a petrol engine.  Not all of us want to drive like boy-racers on the public highway, you know !


Plus you can destroy unwitting supercars
PhilD

Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
Big Blue wrote:
6500 miles in a year in a diesel? What the fuck is the point of that? He's spent more on buying a oiler than he'll ever hope to get back in fuel consumption.

Better consumption is not the only reason that people buy diesels..... for one, there is their more relaxed method of power delivery than revving the nuts off a petrol engine.  Not all of us want to drive like boy-racers on the public highway, you know !


have you ever driven a non-turbo diesel Chris? how was the performance?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr

Do NOT start threads with titles like this! Feared the worst ...
Martin

PhilD wrote:
Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
Big Blue wrote:
6500 miles in a year in a diesel? What the fuck is the point of that? He's spent more on buying a oiler than he'll ever hope to get back in fuel consumption.

Better consumption is not the only reason that people buy diesels..... for one, there is their more relaxed method of power delivery than revving the nuts off a petrol engine.  Not all of us want to drive like boy-racers on the public highway, you know !


have you ever driven a non-turbo diesel Chris? how was the performance?


I drove a few many years ago and had a non turn diesel 405 estate for a while.   They were all dire.
Boxer6

Alf McQueef wrote:
Oh god - you do so need a new nickname for that car!!

I bet supercar drivers are quaking in their boots. I'm trembling at the prospect of being "destroyed" myself  


Au contraire; Twelfth's car has been thus named for 10 years now - why change it just because of some "throbber" has opted to choose a stupid contraction of it for his own use?

I mean, really; Theb?!?!?!          
PG

Big Blue wrote:
Dickhead!


Nailed it!

And I see he also had to get the reference in to his other cars too. Double dickhead.
Big Blue

Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
Big Blue wrote:
6500 miles in a year in a diesel? What the fuck is the point of that? He's spent more on buying a oiler than he'll ever hope to get back in fuel consumption.

Better consumption is not the only reason that people buy diesels..... for one, there is their more relaxed method of power delivery than revving the nuts off a petrol engine.  Not all of us want to drive like boy-racers on the public highway, you know !


That may be so but his description of his mode of use suggests this individual has never driven his car for its relaxed power delivery. That aside the alternative BMWs are now turbocharged petrols which also do not the nuts revved off them; like my bike, comfortable and swift progress can be made using the torque available but intergalactic hyperspace is available as you go round the rev range.
PhilD

Big Blue wrote:
That aside the alternative BMWs are now turbocharged petrols which also do not the nuts revved off them; like my bike, comfortable and swift progress can be made using the torque available but intergalactic hyperspace is available as you go round the rev range.


that was my point, it's the turbo bit not the diesel bit.
Racing Teatray

Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
Big Blue wrote:
6500 miles in a year in a diesel? What the fuck is the point of that? He's spent more on buying a oiler than he'll ever hope to get back in fuel consumption.

Better consumption is not the only reason that people buy diesels..... for one, there is their more relaxed method of power delivery than revving the nuts off a petrol engine.  Not all of us want to drive like boy-racers on the public highway, you know !


Relaxed power delivery? In comfort mode, the power delivery on my petrol-powered GC is so suave and relaxed I've informally nicknamed it Leslie... (after Leslie Philips). That it can also do rabid is another matter entirely. Just because you can rev a petrol doesn't mean it is required.

So I think you need to distinguish between little petrols and big petrols.

Little petrols do need revving but that's more than half the fun of them. I'm a big fan of the wife's Twinair precisely because it's more eager than a Jack Russell puppy on speed.

Big ones don't. And where we are talking about eg 430ds, we aren't talking weeny motors...
Martin

That's not exactly true, but it goes back to the point about turbos.  I've just spent a couple of weeks with a 270hp 3.7 V6, that needed revs to get going (terrible noise as a reward) and wouldn't have seen which way a 330d went.   The rev limiter was only 500rpm higher than the 535d which was a surprise. The Boxster needs revs as well to go at a decent rate, but at least that's a thoroughly enjoyable experience and suits a sports car.

Interestingly, I've read in several mags, including Evo most surprisingly, that the new 530d is a better bet than the 540i as its quicker and sounds much better.  So the installation can make a difference as well.
BeN

Boxer6 wrote:
Alf McQueef wrote:
Oh god - you do so need a new nickname for that car!!

I bet supercar drivers are quaking in their boots. I'm trembling at the prospect of being "destroyed" myself  


Au contraire; Twelfth's car has been thus named for 10 years now - why change it just because of some "throbber" has opted to choose a stupid contraction of it for his own use?

I mean, really; Theb?!?!?!          


Indeed. What a knob end.
Chris M Wanted a V-10

Twelfth and "Theb's owner" are, I am sure, not the only people in this world to have named their cars "The Beast"
PhilD

Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
Twelfth and "Theb's owner" are, I am sure, not the only people in this world to have named their cars "The Beast"


Not just cars Chris.
Nelson

Theb....it's nearing 1am as I type this and I'm pissing myself laughing. What a monumental bell end
Twelfth Monkey

Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
Twelfth and "Theb's owner" are, I am sure, not the only people in this world to have named their cars "The Beast"


John Candy's eponymous character in Uncle Buck, for one...
Chris M Wanted a V-10

From the BBC website:

Lewis Hamilton tweeted a video of his new Mercedes car's engine firing up with the word "beast".
PhilD

Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
From the BBC website:

Lewis Hamilton tweeted a video of his new Mercedes car's engine firing up with the word "beast".


That seals it then.
Roadsterstu

Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
Big Blue wrote:
6500 miles in a year in a diesel? What the fuck is the point of that? He's spent more on buying a oiler than he'll ever hope to get back in fuel consumption.

Better consumption is not the only reason that people buy diesels..... for one, there is their more relaxed method of power delivery than revving the nuts off a petrol engine.  Not all of us want to drive like boy-racers on the public highway, you know !


I had no need to rev the nuts off the T5 and I have even less need to do so in the T6. Mind you, when I do, at least I can go past 5k rpm. And it sounds decent.

Simon, I had a momentary panic at the thread title!
garry

I'm not sure any of the unwitting supercar owners that Peter destroyed saw it in the same way. 'Some bloke in a 418d trying to impress his girlfriend' will be closer to their view.
simonp

Everyone my age knows that this is the real Beast anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxMxFE37Sxw
Chris M Wanted a V-10

simonp wrote:
Everyone my age knows that this is the real Beast anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxMxFE37Sxw

^ The real one was the original IIRC purple bodied thing before it caught fire and was rebuilt with that monstrosity of a body
DetmoldDick

Chris M Wanted a V-10 wrote:
simonp wrote:
Everyone my age knows that this is the real Beast anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxMxFE37Sxw

^ The real one was the original IIRC purple bodied thing before it caught fire and was rebuilt with that monstrosity of a body


This is a far more elegant solution in an SD1:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiZIU54WYxw
simonp

Not as elegant as this, though...

http://www.bobpetersenengineering.co.uk/petersen-27-litre-meteor

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