Eff One
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Steaming motorised turd - sorry, Citroen C2Dear God. Modern cars must surely be going backwards. In April I was saddled with an Astra which was shockingly awful to drive, but did at least feel like it would last.
Last week in Provence I had the (very) dubious pleasure of a metallic burgundy Citroen C2 somethingorother. I was informed by the National attendant that it was a petrol manual, though it gave little sign of having an engine at all.
Apparently made of recycled baked bean cans and with all the perceived build quality of a crate of plastic spoons, it was so utterly lacking in steering feel that I'd have felt safer in a shopping trolley. It managed to feel harshly damped and wallowy at the same time - a neat trick - and someone had obviously connected up the brakes with the internals of a light switch.
I'm battling to find some positives. The aircon was effective and welcome in 35C heat, and it was very economical - although I'd have expected nothing less from about 3bhp. It didn't break down in the three days I had it, but every time I changed gear or switched on the aircon it felt as if the entire drivetrain was about to deposit itself all over the road.
What an utter, utter shitheap. I simply cannot believe that anyone with two brain cells to rub together would pay £9k for one. And before anyone asks, no I didn't take any bloody pictures of it. I never wanted to see it again.
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"him"
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Did you take any... OH!
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Dr. Hfuhruhurr
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I wish when people review their holiday rental cars, they'd get off the fence a little and say what they really think, rather than the usual anodyne stuff ...
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Gurney
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Reading between the lines, not Citroens finest hour then.
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"him"
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I would say 7/10, but I am detecting some negativity...
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Dr. Hfuhruhurr
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The sort of stuff Autocar would have under "jobs for the facelift" in their road tests, you mean?
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Eff One
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Was I not crystal enough?
I've driven better resolved, more desirable Dodgems.
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Twelfth Monkey
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What a wonderfully scathing review. Well done that man.
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maz
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better than walking !
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Gurney
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| maz wrote: | | better than walking ! |
Sounds a close run thing though 
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Frank Bullitt
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We test-drove a C2 1.1 in 2003. I remember little about it although the complete lack of performance was one of them - it had shat-all once you hit 50mph; I'd imagine with A/C that would be worse! Put it this way, the 44bhp smart pure felt quicker!
I do seem to remember it being quite comfy though, with a decent driving position. However, it was out-performed by the Renault Clio (2001 model, whatver version that was - Clio 3?) in every single way, and the salesman (named the grim reaper by my wife) didn't help.
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Pkh72
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Nice write up
I'm looking forward to Steve Cropley adopting a similar style next time he does a road test rather than the current 'creaming himself about how good it is' method he has.
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Frank Bullitt
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| Pkh72 wrote: | Nice write up
I'm looking forward to Steve Cropley adopting a similar style next time he does a road test rather than the current 'creaming himself about how good it is' method he has. |
If it's a Fester, I wouldn't hold your breath...
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PG
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It must have been a very duff one. Usually, small holiday hire cars are the fastest cars on the road. I even enjoyed a Pug 206 in Italy - one could achieve an almost Zen-like one-ness bouncing it off the rev limiter up and down the Tscanny hills. 
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Rodge
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No Queefing about it then? No 'Dab of Oppo'?
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Eff One
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| Rodge wrote: | | No Queefing about it then? No 'Dab of Oppo'? |
No dab of oppo, but a whiff of soiled underwear as it understeered determinedly towards another five hundred foot drop. At least I think it was understeering, the front wheels could have been left behind in St Tropez for all I could tell.
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Blarno
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I had a 1.4 C3 as a hire car when I was in Crete in 2005.
It was shit, simple as that. Wheezy, asthmatic engine, interior made from the inside of Milk Tray boxes and the handbrake was crap. What's the point of having a hire car on dusty Greek roads if you can't get a bit of handbrake action on the go?
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Martin
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I'd never book a hire car at the bottom end of the scale as it's always going to be a shite car, it shouldn't be a surprise!
Mind you, my last 2 holiday hire cars were a Hummer and Lincoln and my next one will be a Chrysler 300, so not exactly the best cars in the world! However, size does matter....
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PG
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| Martin wrote: | | I'd never book a hire car at the bottom end of the scale as it's always going to be a shite car, it shouldn't be a surprise!. |
Whilst that may be true now, in the good old days when the bottom of the pile would be a Pug 106 / 205 etc, you could thrash the bollox off it and have some fun.
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Frank Bullitt
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| PG wrote: | | Martin wrote: | | I'd never book a hire car at the bottom end of the scale as it's always going to be a shite car, it shouldn't be a surprise!. |
Whilst that may be true now, in the good old days when the bottom of the pile would be a Pug 106 / 205 etc, you could thrash the bollox off it and have some fun. |
In a Greek Island it's likely to be some Hyundai Atos-type shit-box nowadays; that's why I always search out a local outfit on arrival where even a Fiat Punto with non-adjustable seat and wheel looks attractive.
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Blarno
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^^ My Stepdad got lumped with a 0.9 Atos at the same time I had the C3. Shortest straw there...
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Eff One
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| Martin wrote: | | I'd never book a hire car at the bottom end of the scale as it's always going to be a shite car, it shouldn't be a surprise! |
It's always going to be a cheap car, but I wouldn't agree on the shiteness. A few years back I had a Saxo which was brilliant fun, and I've also had a Fiesta. The C2 had more swoopy design details than the Saxo but didn't feel noticeably better built and was so far behind in terms of driver involvement it was beyond laughable.
Conversely, I've also booked a couple of groups up and got a MKV Golf (surprisingly good) and an Astra, which was brand new but rather took me aback with the poor quality of its interior - and as I've said, was an appalling drive.
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SpecB
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The only thing I really ask of a holiday hire car is decent a/c and that it is comfortable.
Saying that I always book group C but that is mainly for the comfort point of view. I have booked an SUV for the upcoming USA trip - the last time I was in the States I booked a Focus and it was terrifyingly bad and tiny compared everything else on the roads. It drove nothing like a UK version at all. I wanted something like a Mustang but they had sold out in Detroit back in the spring.
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"him"
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| Eff One wrote: | | It's always going to be a cheap car, but I wouldn't agree on the shiteness. A few years back I had a Saxo which was brilliant fun, and I've also had a Fiesta. The C2 had more swoopy design details than the Saxo but didn't feel noticeably better built and was so far behind in terms of driver involvement it was beyond laughable. |
I have never driven a "boggo" C2, what were the main differences between the Saxo and the C2 from a driving point of view?
The steering on the C2 is a rather lifeless electric system rather than electro-hydraulic setup on the Saxo, and obviously the rear suspension isn't independent like on the older car having gone for a "flexible transverse beam" on the C2 rather than trailing arms.
Not that this should a problem in itself, many hot hatches do well without a fully independent rear setup these days.
Or was it simply that the C2 felt "wrong" as a result of lots of small issues with all the primary controls? 
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Martin
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| PG wrote: | | Martin wrote: | | I'd never book a hire car at the bottom end of the scale as it's always going to be a shite car, it shouldn't be a surprise!. |
Whilst that may be true now, in the good old days when the bottom of the pile would be a Pug 106 / 205 etc, you could thrash the bollox off it and have some fun. |
Very true, but there isn't anything around now in that bracket that holds much appeal.
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"him"
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| Martin wrote: | | Very true, but there isn't anything around now in that bracket that holds much appeal. |
A Citroen C1/Peugeot 107 is a good drive (for something so cheap to buy)
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Martin
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My parents have one for running around town, so I know exactly what it's like to drive.
It doesn't hold much appeal....!!
It's not that bad actually, but just not my sort of thing and the thought of having one on holiday doesn't fill me with joy.
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