Archive for The Motor Forum talking cars since 2006          The Motor Forum Forum Index -> In the Mags Twelfth Monkey Queefspotting. evo 132, Catchpole p 47, Vivian p51.  Uncanny... Turbonutter Re: Queefspotting. Twelfth Monkey wrote: evo 132, Catchpole p 47, ... Page 46 is even better if you're searching for 'essence of Queef'   I think Rich based the character on his fellow staffers ....esp Mr Barker TimR Wassa queef? "him" http://www.sniffpetrol.com/author/troy-queef/ TimR "him" wrote: http://www.sniffpetrol.com/author/troy-queef/ I see. I'd say that was actually Mr Vivian. Wasn't there a letter in EVO last year about some of his slightly OTT prose? Mind you I think Blarno credited someone with using the word 'visceral' in a thread recently. Never been sure enough of exactly what it means to use it myself.... "him" TimR wrote: Wasn't there a letter in EVO last year about some of his slightly OTT prose? That was about his use of "military grade" terms wasn't it? I agree with the posts above about Troy being a pastiche of all of them. "him" You could always ask him? http://www.facebook.com/pages/Troy-Queef/42834529174 TimR "him" wrote: TimR wrote: Wasn't there a letter in EVO last year about some of his slightly OTT prose? That was about his use of "military grade" terms wasn't it? I agree with the posts above about Troy being a pastiche of all of them. I think "weapons grade" was one of the terms in question. Dr. Hfuhruhurr I reckon David Vivian is closer to Essence of Queef than any other writer. Frank Bullitt I did have a look through Evo a while back when it was suggested Queef is Vivian - I know Richard Porter say's Queef is an amalgam of the genre, but let's be honest he was trying not to upset the Evo writer Stuntman Sutters + Viv = Queef, IMO. Twelfth Monkey Dan Prosser, Performance Car, July 2009. On the IS-F: 'Stuff the flowery intro, I'm cutting to the chase.  At last the road clears, straight enough, too.  Bang down the box for fourth gear, foot to the floor. The second inlet port opens and the V8 barks. I keep it pinned, eyes peeled for late lane-changers, looking for bends in the road.  The Lexus bounces, stiff is what it does, so I hold on.  It ain't getting away from me, not at 130 with the central reservation right there.  Change up, acceleration slows a touch, but we're still hauling.  150mph and plenty to go yet.  A Golf fancied it at 90, but we've dropped it now.  My passenger demands I keep it pinned, despite us being at the mercy of the cars alongside.  We should have waited for the roads to clear, but 160mph goes on by. We're crawling now, each mph coming with a gulp, a conscious decision to keep my foot flat.  Instinct would have had me lift two gears ago.  Seventh gear.  The needle passes 170mph.  Way ahead the road bends to the left, but we'll be there in a blink.  Palms are sweaty, heart is beating, near-bald tyres shriek into the road.  They're gonna blow.  They're definitely about to explode.  Still flat, a glance at the speedo so quick I see nothing.  Look again, needle just shy of 180.  On a public road, with cars alongside, I bottle it.  I lift and apply the brakes gently.  Let the car squirm, it still ain't getting away.  Speed falls, heart still bangs.  100mph feels like town speeds.  80 and I'm ready to get out.' Back in the real world, two thoughts: 1) If this was the result of a 'write yourself a Queef' competition, it would be a worthy winner.  Car journo as self-appointed macho man & existential hero.  Was he sending himself up?  If not... 2) What a tool. Guitar Zero You missed the final scentence... Quote: The Lexus IS-F is a bitch - and I spanked my monkey in it Twelfth Monkey Bizarrely, it calms down after that.  But I'm sure you're right; he's smoking his post-coital fag at that stage. Guitar Zero Where was the venue for this man fat soaked power hero drive ? I'm surpised the mags are allowed to engage their journalists to get involved in do or die top speed runs on public roads - the test could quite easily go horribly tits " Lexus spanks numpty, vapourises young family in their Polo ". Twelfth Monkey On the way to the Nurburgring.  It's clearly OK if it's Johnny Foreigner. admin The IS-F article is the Dan P who posts here from time to time. TimR I've noticed the word 'visceral' creeping into a few posts on this forum. Is that acceptable, non-Queef, behaviour amongst car-minded internet friends? Twelfth Monkey admin wrote: The IS-F article is the Dan P who posts here from time to time. Here's hoping he has a sense of humour... Blarno Surely no-one can write an article like that, read it through, check it again, then think?: "Yep, that's awesome. I don't sound like a complete nobber" Frank Bullitt Twelfth Monkey wrote: 1) If this was the result of a 'write yourself a Queef' competition, it would be a worthy winner.  Car journo as self-appointed macho man & existential hero.  Was he sending himself up?  If not... 2) What a tool. For another instalment, read the article a few months ago that had the 205 T16, Elise and other such luminaries - read the first para and it's perfect Queef.  I think he's doing it as a piss-take. Dr. Hfuhruhurr Frank Bullitt wrote: I think he's doing it as a piss-take. I think he is too - he put "frippery nonsense" in an early PC article, and you just know he would have used the forum term if he could. Twelfth Monkey The problem with irony is that it only works if the recipients are in on the joke. Dr. Hfuhruhurr Twelfth Monkey wrote: The problem with irony is that it only works if the recipients are in on the joke. Given that most people who read PC probably also read EVO and Sniff Petrol, they probably are. Twelfth Monkey Maybe, though as an occasional evo reader and long-time Sniff Petrolist, I didn't. Maybe that says more about me than anything else. Nonetheless, if the antics reported are accurate and merely linguistically Queefed, I'd agree with GZ that it suggests extremely questionable behaviour behind the wheel.  And I speak as one far from averse to using my car's potential. Nice Guy Eddie I'm sure the lexus ran upto 170mph without real drama on the Autobahn but then I guess that saying I planted my foot on the loud pedal and all was as it was at 100mph isn't exactly going to get the reader excited. Having done 162mph on the speedo last week on the Autobahn I have to say I didn't go through half that drama in a lowly Golf so bollocks to a bad ass Lexus. Twelfth Monkey It's not the speed for me, but the described proximity to other traffic. Dr. Hfuhruhurr Twelfth Monkey wrote: It's not the speed for me, but the described proximity to other traffic. That is true, certainly. If I go for big speeds on the autobahn, I want at least one empty lane between me and anything else, in case someone does pull out to pass unexpectedly. Eff One Visceral: 1 : felt in or as if in the viscera : deep <a visceral conviction> 2 : not intellectual : instinctive, unreasoning <visceral drives> 3 : dealing with crude or elemental emotions : earthy <a visceral novel> 4 : of, relating to, or located on or among the viscera : splanchnic <visceral organs> DarthBalls Isn't a 'queef' the name given to a 'fanny fart'? Twelfth Monkey As in Profanisaurus?  Sounds about right, if so. Guitar Zero Southpark had an episode about " queefing ". Basically about the way the men folk react in abject horror to queefing Very funny actually. DarthBalls My experience of being queefed on during sex was all good - lots of laughter and a pleasant breeze on me nads.        The Motor Forum Forum Index -> In the Mags Page 1 of 1