Twelfth Monkey
|
Miserable fucker(s).Our close used to have an annual get-together in the form of a bonfire night bash. Nothing unruly, merely a few families letting off a few fireworks, having a small bonfire, judge the guy contest etc. There's an open area in front of our house that we use for it, theoretically owned by the builders (who have subsequently gone under). The area was always repaired afterwards, and for several years, all seemed happy with the arrangements.
Last year the event wasn't run, because of a grumble to the builders (still in their death throes at that stage) by an un-named resident. The builders having gone under, we thought we'd be ok this year so the chap who organises it had set the wheels in motion.
Cue a hand-delivered letter to the residents last night from the parish council, to which the anonymous grumbler has clearly been squealing. The PC hasn't formally adopted the area, but has been maintaining the grass (i.e. having it mown occasionally) and is expected to adopt it in the coming year. The letter states that if the get-together happens they will no longer look after the land, and includes phone and extension details for the local plod should we not be dissuaded.
I haven't decided what to do yet, though I'm tempted to send the letter back to the PC with a nazi salute on it...
|
DradusContact
|
Is it clear who legally owns the land?
|
scamper
|
What's the worst they are going to do if you go ahead? Arrest all x number of residents and spoil the kids fun? The local paper would love that.
I'd go ahead, just to annoy the fecker complaining and call the council's bluff.
Also if it does go ahead, what can the police do or want to do? Hardly a breach of the peace, the council have NOT adopted the land yet, and with any nuisance complaint the gig will be over by the time the local EHO turns up.
|
Gurney
|
I think I would do everything within my power to go ahead as usual.
In fact I would do anything to annoy a parish council as my devout aetheism is becoming increasingly more militant.
|
Twelfth Monkey
|
Not entirely, and we do know we've been using someone else's turf. It's the heavy-handedness of the council that rankles, along with the attitude of whomever has done the snitching. As far as I can see, no one suffers as a result. There are fireworks going off all over the village, so it's not as though there's any real additional noise. We're pretty early in finishing, so it doesn't add to the time people hear fireworks. And those of us who do hang around and enjoy a chat and a beverage or two afterwards are careful to keep the noise down.
It's hard not to feel that it's the notion that others might be enjoying themselves that motivates the tittle-tattling. Which would be genuinely pathetic.
|
DradusContact
|
Just do it. As said above i really cant see the coppers doing much.
|
Mike Amos
|
Proceed but, have an eye for the police and perhaps have a gentle word about the ownership issue. I cannot see local police getting involved unless serious noise/mess issues force their hand.
|
SpecB
|
If they are adopting it then I can't see how they can get out of looking after the land in future.
As long as it is made good after the event then I would go ahead.
|
garry
|
I'd go ahead - if i understand it the only real threat is that they'll stop mowing it. Surley you can take it in turns to mow it?
I should must point out that my militant anti-council streak has seen my chop down a tree in front of the tree nazi (conservation officer in council speak) just to show him what a powerless little fucker he really was. Petty minded council officials are only just beaten in to second place by god botherers on my hate list
|
DetmoldDick
|
I would bang a post in the ground on the piece of land concerned with a clearly visible notice of the upcoming event attached. Include a contact number for any queries or complaints.
That way you may even find out who the killjoy is.
|
Scouse
|
Ah bollocks to them. Leave the setting up until the day, cut the turf first (quite an easy job with a spade), leave it stacked to one side, have bonfire, rake over following day and replace turf. No damage left to left, mess tidied up by careful residents amd hey ho busybody & local council fuckwits can go screw themselves.
|
TimR
|
| Scouse wrote: | | Ah bollocks to them. Leave the setting up until the day, cut the turf first (quite an easy job with a spade), leave it stacked to one side, have bonfire, rake over following day and replace turf. No damage left to left, mess tidied up by careful residents amd hey ho busybody & local council fuckwits can go screw themselves. |
The only problem with that is the new turf will start to grow quicker due to all the ashes on the ground 
|
Bob Sacramento
|
Ignore it.
Then find out who is the miserable git and suggest to them that they seem to be displaying an unhealthy interest in the local children and that you're minded to report them to the local plod. Visions of neighbours with flaming torches and "Peado" daubed on the their front door will soon encourage them to wind their neck in.
|
scamper
|
Perhaps its EightAce who is complaining?
|
Scouse
|
| Bob Sacramento wrote: | Ignore it.
Then find out who is the miserable git and suggest to them that they seem to be displaying an unhealthy interest in the local children and that you're minded to report them to the local plod. Visions of neighbours with flaming torches and "Peado" daubed on the their front door will soon encourage them to wind their neck in. |
|
woof woof
|
"The PC hasn't formally adopted the area,"
Who do these people think they are and why are they entitled to grab any land they fancy? Plant a flag and claim the land for the common man and then enjoy bonfire night. I'm sure that the police will have better things to do and if they do turn up just be polite and explain that it's a community activity raising money for disabled black Muslim lesbian orphans. They wont dare interfere.
|
scamper
|
If the police turn up, they will be more interested in getting their hands on a free burger.
|
Bob Sacramento
|
| scamper wrote: | | If the police turn up, they will be more interested in getting their hands on a free burger. |
Thye'll probably knick you for not having had the barbecue licensed by the local Health & Safety Manager & Council, and the cook not having passed a suitable food hygene course.
|
Big Blue
|
If the land is unadopted and is still owned by the administrators of the building company, just go ahead.
Whoever owns it, you will comitting a trespass, a civil matter and not a criminal one therefore not for the police to be arsed with. Unless the owner of the land applies to the court to have you removed from the land that night or bound over to stop you doing it again there is feck all the PC can do about it. If they stop maintaining the land as they "threaten" then find the builders' administrator and buy the land as undeveloped agricultural land with no planning permission at about £500/acre, move house but retain that land and then have a stinking car-tyre fire on it 365 days a year.
|
scamper
|
| Bob Sacramento wrote: | | scamper wrote: | | If the police turn up, they will be more interested in getting their hands on a free burger. |
Thye'll probably knick you for not having had the barbecue licensed by the local Health & Safety Manager & Council, and the cook not having passed a suitable food hygene course. |
But being fat sweaty coppers, still eat all your food.
|
Big TC
|
Go ahead - do it! Have fun! Be polite if the coppers turn up (unlikely) and annoy the fuck out of the Daily Mail reader, sorry, the complainee
|
Pkh72
|
Find an old oil drum and have your fire in that, you can then pretend it's a picket line, they seem to be all the rage at the moment so you'll be okay.
This will also entitle you to give hand gestures and grumble at random passers by.
|
woof woof
|
They're gonna give hand what?
|
Pkh72
|
| woof woof wrote: | | They're gonna give hand what? |
Easy tiger, not that!
|
Humphrey The Pug
|
Don't you just hate miserable old sods like that with nothing better to do in their lives than curtain twitch and complain about everything, when there is absolutley nothing to complain about.
There you are all of the people in the Close trying to get up a bit of community spirit and have a bit of fun, on one night of the year, and some miserable bastard wants to ruin it and absolutely no body will gain out of it, this is probably the very same person who moans about community spirit being dead.
I bet he/she/they even turn up for the annual bonfire too.
|
PG
|
BB is right - unless the council already own the land, then only the owners can stop you being on it.
I'm not even sure the PC can adopt land? I thought that only borough or county councils could adopt land and then maintain it?
If any council is going to adopt it then regardless of the bonfire issue, I'd check out under what basis they are adopting it. Green space and covenanted to remain as such or a brownfield site that they will suddenly find they need to grant planning permission on?
|
the other ct
|
| scamper wrote: | | But being fat sweaty coppers, still eat all your food. |
Careful! Isn't Roadsterstu part of the Leicestershire Constabulary?
|
scamper
|
| the other ct wrote: | | scamper wrote: | | But being fat sweaty coppers, still eat all your food. |
Careful! Isn't Roadsterstu part of the Leicestershire Constabulary? |
Ahh, he knows i'm only referring to the Fast Show! I'm sure those more technology minded than me can post a pic or post a youtube link!
|
Roadrunner
|
I would definitely go ahead with it. As others have said, plod will have far more pressing issues to deal with than a family bonfire party. If you can find out who the miserable fucker is, then it would be worth having a polite chat with him/her as well as the Parish Council to get to the bottom of why they are complaining.
| Gurney wrote: |
In fact I would do anything to annoy a parish council as my devout aetheism is becoming increasingly more militant. |
The Parish Council mentioned here is likely to be the civil authority (3rd tier of local govt) and nothing to do with the church, which is managed by the Parochial Church Council.
|
Apex clipper
|
| scamper wrote: | | If the police turn up, they will be more interested in getting their hands on a free burger. |
12th.....I expect your firework display to be that huge that it is aired on the national news.
Fvck um! 
|
Frank Bullitt
|
| Big Blue wrote: | If the land is unadopted and is still owned by the administrators of the building company, just go ahead.
Whoever owns it, you will comitting a trespass, a civil matter and not a criminal one therefore not for the police to be arsed with. Unless the owner of the land applies to the court to have you removed from the land that night or bound over to stop you doing it again there is feck all the PC can do about it. If they stop maintaining the land as they "threaten" then find the builders' administrator and buy the land as undeveloped agricultural land with no planning permission at about £500/acre, move house but retain that land and then have a stinking car-tyre fire on it 365 days a year. |
Agreed on all accounts - proceed and have a chuckle when one person in the close doesnt't turn up.
He's the kiddie fiddler, right...
|
Giant
|
Have a monster firework display/ bonfire twice the size of that you would have done, with ALL the neighbours invited but be absolutely anal in returning the piece of land back to original state and clearing up.
Fuck the misery who doesn't want to enjoy themselves or see anyone else do so, they must be very sad and lonely.
|
Grampa
|
Considering councils are supposed to be democratic, why don't they just tell the busybody that clearly everyone else in the close wants the event to go ahead, so sorry, but he'll have to fuck off. Hope all goes ahead and you get a good 'power of the community' story in the local paper that will leave the council and the busybody squirming.
|
Boxer6
|
| Grampa wrote: | | Considering councils are supposed to be democratic, why don't they just tell the busybody that clearly everyone else in the close wants the event to go ahead, so sorry, but he'll have to fuck off. Hope all goes ahead and you get a good 'power of the community' story in the local paper that will leave the council and the busybody squirming. |
Because he is, quite obviously, a minority, and it's politically abhorrent to discriminate in whatever fashion against minorities of any kind at all. As you should already know - are you a capitalist imperialist oppressor or something?!?!
|
Twelfth Monkey
|
The would-be organiser is talking to the council to see if we can agree terms. Apparently they received an anonymous letter, complaining about the area being left in a mess previously. Which it never has been.
Way to go...
|
Roadsterstu
|
| scamper wrote: | | the other ct wrote: | | scamper wrote: | | But being fat sweaty coppers, still eat all your food. |
Careful! Isn't Roadsterstu part of the Leicestershire Constabulary? |
Ahh, he knows i'm only referring to the Fast Show! I'm sure those more technology minded than me can post a pic or post a youtube link! |
I'm working on Bonfire Night and if there are any free burgers going, I'm having one!
I wouldn't be surprised if the author of the anonymous letter is actually perfectly well known to the PC, a relative or friend of a PC member or even, shock horror, a PC member.
If it is considered tresspass - as said, a civil matter, not a criminal matter.
Make good any damage or take steps to ensure there isn't any in the first place.
Make sure your fireworks are finished by 11pm, or midnight if it is 5th November.
Can't really see your local officers being too interested TBH.
|
Pkh72
|
That sounds like a go ahead to me.
|
Twelfth Monkey
|
The organiser (and a few other residents) made representations to the PC the night before last, and the upshot is this:
- We're OK to have a barbie and a few drinks on the area in question.
- There's nothing to stop one of the houses bordering the area from setting off fireworks, and we have a volunteer.
Upshot of which means that this year there will be no bonfire, but apart from that it's business as usual. I'm going to suggest that we talk to the PC well in advance next year and get permission to do it in full.
News of this has been circulated to one and all, so it's likely that the squealer has also seen it. I do hope they aren't too unhappy...
|
Pkh72
|
| Twelfth Monkey wrote: | The organiser (and a few other residents) made representations to the PC the night before last, and the upshot is this:
- We're OK to have a barbie and a few drinks on the area in question.
- There's nothing to stop one of the houses bordering the area from setting off fireworks, and we have a volunteer.
Upshot of which means that this year there will be no bonfire, but apart from that it's business as usual. I'm going to suggest that we talk to the PC well in advance next year and get permission to do it in full.
News of this has been circulated to one and all, so it's likely that the squealer has also seen it. I do hope they aren't too unhappy... |
Now you need to go and purchase some fireworks that could blow holes through the moon and some with bangs that knock the earth off its axis.
|
Roadsterstu
|
Sounds like a reasonable compromise to me. I assume they didn't say how big the BBQ had to be...?
|
Big Blue
|
| Pkh72 wrote: |
Now you need to go and purchase some fireworks that could blow holes through the moon and some with bangs that knock the earth off its axis. |
+1
Get down to Chinatown asap and order whatever illegal, weapons grade shit they've got there
|
scamper
|
Did they give a reason why you can't have a bonfire? Considering its not their land, yet
|
DradusContact
|
Mortars would well.
|
Twelfth Monkey
|
Scamps, I believe it's more of an 'if you play ball, so will we' arrangement, and I'd guess that Karl has more than half an eye on keeping them sweet for next year (when they will own it) with a view to doing the full monty then.
I'm pretty happy with how it's turned out.
|
Big TC
|
So, is it bring your own bottle and fireworks, then? What time do you want us there.....?
|
Twelfth Monkey
|
Seven o'clock OK? You'll have to sleep under the stars, I'm afraid!
|
TimR
|
| Twelfth Monkey wrote: | | Seven o'clock OK? You'll have to sleep under the stars, I'm afraid! |
Isn't there space in the TV/Audiobeast room?
Or are you worried about condensation from breathe damaging some electrickery?
|
scamper
|
I think there is enough room in the Bachelor extention for the firework dsplay and all guests!
|
Frank Bullitt
|
| Big Blue wrote: | | Pkh72 wrote: |
Now you need to go and purchase some fireworks that could blow holes through the moon and some with bangs that knock the earth off its axis. |
+1
Get down to Chinatown asap and order whatever illegal, weapons grade shit they've got there |
Agreed - I'd be expecting something that creates black holes being set off.
|
SpecB
|
I once paid 50 notes for a single rocket. I lit it, it went up for ages and nothing.
As I was cursing under my breath and vowing to go back to the shop to play merry hell the most enormous boom accompanied with a not insubstantial shockwave occurred along with the side effect of a cacophony of car alarms.
One of the best £50 I've ever spent!
|
scamper
|
Update?
|
Twelfth Monkey
|
It seems that the organisers felt emboldened. The fireworks were set off from the green, rather than someone's drive, and we had a brazier on the edge. Much merriment was had, and we got to know a few of our more distant neighbours rather better.
A triumph of community spirit over curtain-twitchers, and the people we figure as most likely squealers were 'away.'
We made sure that the grass around the brazier was regularly doused to protect the grass from hot ash, and ended up just the 12th family for the last hour (nice and quiet).
Our next door neighbour invited along a few people, one of whom was The Fast show's Colin Hunt. Mercifully, he buggered-off fairly early on.
Come Sunday morning it was time to dust off some Withnail quotes, particularly: 'I feel like a pig shat in my head.'
The area in question looks absolutely fine, too
Thanks for asking, by the way.
|
Bob Sacramento
|
By all accounts it went very well.
|
scamper
|
|
Big TC
|
| Bob Sacramento wrote: |
By all accounts it went very well.
|
Brilliant! A genuine LOL moment! 
|
maz
|
It even sunk some boats - excellent !
|
DradusContact
|
We have a Colin Hunt here, it seems tragically he was born unable to speak without giving a sarcastic reply.
|
