Just Like Going on Holiday

Frank Bullitt · Just Like Going on Holiday

...except you have no idea when the plane is going to leave or how unpleasent the journey will be.

That's what it's like having reached you 'Estimated Due Date' without the slightest hint of any movement at all. Nada, zip, zilch, nothing. The bags are packed and in the car, work knows I could be disappearing at any time.

Still, our local hospital will only let junior have an extra week and then they'll induce - so by next Thursday something will happen*

* I have an ex-midwife work for me and she's under no illussions there is little science involved in the timing, even upon inducement.

TimR

Going by an episode of Coronation Street I saw by mistake the way to induce your baby is to go for a long walk on a beach somewhere far away from a hospital and out of mobile phone signal range

Frank Bullitt

I'm not sure 'Artistic License' works in the real world!

Had a trip to Hospital for a scan yesterday after the midwife suggested baby could be breach although she wasn't sure, which would mean a C-section asap in case my wife went into labour.

Anyhow, junior is head-down and about 50% engaged, did the curry last night too but there are no signs of anything.

Think we are in for the long-haul. An 'Enducement' has been booked for next Thursday and I have a feeling we'll need it...

TimR

Whenever I hear of enducement I picture a weird hippy woman doing a dance with her arms outstretched and motioning for someone (in this case the baby) to come towards her.

I expect it's nothing at all like that.

Roadrunner

Humphrey The Pug

Apex clipper

Sunday 4 0'clock.

I've a feeling in my waters.

Worth a thread on it's own this, nearest wins a twix.

Frank Bullitt

She's been eating Pineapple, we've been out for long walks and still nothing - she's also been bouncing on her gym-ball thing relentlessly...

My colleagues are running a book too - one of my team put a post-it note on my computer yesterday telling me he has 11pm Sunday. Chance would be a fine thing...

As for horizontal jogging, there is no chance of that!

Martin

Inducement can be a long process as well, about 48 hours for our first. Our second came on his own, almost without warning, all 11 pounds of him (naturally!!). Apparently it stung a bit .......

Frank Bullitt

Yeah, we've had a few friends go for 48 hours after being enduced. 11lb? Crikey...

Rodge

Tell her to walk up and down the stairs, do the house work (Nesting), go to the cinema, all the places it would be awkward to get out of if the baby decided to come.
Our first was almost 2 weeks past due date and was induced.
The twins arrived on time,being twins, they are cooked after 38 weeks, they were also induced but were out in about 2 hrs.

By the way, bring some food for yourself if there's no where to get a dinner. It's a long day and you'll be starving at the end of it.

Martin

Good advice. I took food because I just knew it wouldn't go down well if I popped out to get something to eat. I still managed to squeeze in something in the hospital canteen though, you need to keep your strength up!!

Frank Bullitt

Funnily enough, she was on about going to see Bruno at the cinema but I'm not a believer in Murphy's Law - however, we've been for a wander around town, I've made her a Pineapple smoothie and she's being doing housework for the past 10 days at least!

She is currently squatting over the gym-ball thing.

It no longer feels like we are going on holiday - it feels like the holiday is cancelled. It's clearly not the case, but I can't see junior ever coming without serious intervention...

We've stopped picking up the phone, which rings about 20 times a day, or calling people - either you ruin their day when you're not going to tell them of our new arrival or they ring to ask if there's any news, to be followed by disappointment.

Mrs Skyhook

I hate the whole 'we'll let you go a week over' crap. It's bollocks. They can't let or not let you do anything. All they can do is advise. They cannot make you do anything. You can, if you want, choose monitoring instead. Or tell the lot of 'em to go to hell (tempting sometimes, but not recommended). As you say, EDDs are not an exact science. WHO recommendations are that full gestation is anything from 37-42 weeks. First babies are usually a good week later than the EDD anyway. Induction is to be avoided if possible, unless there is an actual issue, not a 'maybe' issue.

Forget the pineapple. Mrs Bullitt would have to eat about 8 whole ones to have any effect at all. Evening primrose oil and raspberry leaf tea, on the other hand, are proven to work. EPO capsules can be taken *ahem* internally (1 x 1000mg or 2 x 500mg, pierce with a needle before inserting), it helps the cervix to ripen. Take 1000mg the 'usual' way (ie ingesting) as well. Lots of sex helps too. Raspberry leaf tea is available from Holland & Barrett and I (and many many others) swear it made my labour with Li'l S a lot more efficient (and therefore shorter and less painful) than it otherwise may have been. DO NOT take castor oil, all it will do is give Mrs B the runs and may cause distress to the baby. Keep up with the bouncing.

As for the phone, may I suggest an answerphone message along these lines 'We will let you know as soon as there is news.' And leave it to pick up messages. You and Mrs B need rest, not repeating the same thing over and over again which is a) irritating and b) disheartening. Disheartening is not what you need right now.

And good luck with everything. I hope, with every hope I have, that you avoid the induction. In general, babies come when they are ready.

Frank Bullitt

Cheers Mrs S - still waiting (one week late now) with no real sign of junior. My wife is finding things a tad difficult but I think doing exceptionally well and we've rather given up on anything helping. She has a midwife appointment today when they'll give her a bit of technical help.

Martin

So no news then?!!!

Good luck Chris, the wait will be well worth it!

Mrs Skyhook

Often there are 'no real signs' of anything happening - until they do. Yes, some women can go around for weeks having minor contractions, but others (me included) don't. L'il S showed no signs of making his arrival until 4 hours before he did. He was late, too, by a few days.

More tips - relax, relax relax. If you don't fancy the 'unorthodox' EPO, at least take 1000mg orally. Raspberry leaf tea - tablets are available from Holland and Barrett if Mrs B doesn't fancy drinking the tea. Lots and lots of time on hands and knees, swinging hips gently back and forth (helps get the baby into the right position, the ball will help with that). Walking, especially up and down stairs, helps. Stress of any kind, from answering the phone to 'no news yet then?' to panicking that nothing is happening to feeling like 'things' need doing does NOT help.

I hope today's appointment goes well, and that things kick off soon. I have 8 weeks to go, and I am uncomfortable already. Mrs B has my sympathy, and you both have my best wishes.

ALF

Rosie was nearly three weeks late when she was finally induced and had Lu. We wanted to avoid her being induced at all costs, and scans were showing that the blood supply was fine, but finally some grouchy doctor with minimal capability to speak English reduced her to tears by telling her she was risking her baby and basically made it clear she thought we were doing the wrong thing. She was very well, taking plenty of walks, having loads of Braxton Hicks, etc - I bet it was just around the corner anyway.

In the end it just took a sweep and one of those EPO things they pop up there and it kicked things off - that was done later afternoon, nothing happened, she went to bed in the hospital and was told they'd do another the next morning, and things kicked off about midnight. Labour "only" lasted until 7 ish but there was a lot of doctor flapping (heart beats were all wrong) through that time and it was quite traumatic. Whether that was because she was induced or not, we'll never know, but while Rosie was a bit traumatised by it (not helped by her hatred of hospitals generally) I say all's well that ends well.

It would have been nice if NCT classes focused more on the "dealing with a baby" side than the birth side, since at the latter the "choices" are often taken out of your hands by events and you have endless professional help.

Good luck and keep us posted!

gonnabuildabuggy

Helen was induced after two weeks, I think Big little one would still be in there otherwise.

The induction didn't kick off properly and Helen was in labour for 72hours all told (the longest hours in my life). It wasn't plain sailing but all that is forgotten when the bundle of joy (and poo) arrives!

Good luck Chris, we look forward to photos when you are ready.

And in terms of people bugging you just tell them clearly you need peace and quiet and you will ring them when there is news. Perhaps you can give all relevant numbers to a friend/relative who can call them all when you go to hospital and give updates if needed that way you only need to make one call and can focus on your wife's needs.

EDIT - take lots of food - I ate all mine in the first 12 hours then had to keep nipping down to the shop when it was open. I'd also recommend a sleeping bag and mattress based on my experience but you might get some funny looks. Perhaps fold the seats down in the A2 as that's got to be more comfy than sleeping in a hospital chair.

ALF

Mrs Skyhook

Mrs Skyhook

Last few tips from me:

See if you can find out from the midwife which way the baby is lying. Not just head first, but which way is the baby facing? If it's facing towards mum's back, that's brilliant. If towards the side, facing the right is ok, the left not so much so. If it's facing forwards, avoid induction until you can get the baby shifted round. Google 'optimal fetal positioning' for ideas on how to get baby moved (and why!) if you need to.

When it all kicks off, stay at home as long as possible. If induction does turn out to be necessary, get Mrs B to stay mobile for as long as possible. Especially the hands & knees thing, or walking about. If she wants to lie down, get her to lie on her left hand side, NOT on her back.

Have a supply of Lucozade, sports drink or similar, preferably with a straw to make it easier for her to drink it. Glucose tablets can be a Godsend. Honey is good too. Bananas and yogurt. Soft foods are easier on the way back up...

Back pain is a biggie in labour. Be prepared to spend a lot of time massaging, rubbing or just pushing against her lower back. Some mums swear by a couple of tennis balls being pushed or rolled into the small of the back - one each side of the spine. It's something to do with the way the coccyx moves back to make way for the baby.

Avoid pethidine/Meptid if possible, it makes both mum and baby drowsy and interferes with labour and the early bonding hours. Try to avoid an epidural, it often slows things down and makes the later stages a lot more difficult because the mum can't feel what she's doing. Transition can be rotten, and is usually the point at which mum says she can't go on and wants it all to stop - it lasts about 30 minutes or less and is often when mum decides on an epidural. When transition is over, things are often a lot easier to cope with.

If an epidural is the way you go, try for a mobile one. If that's not possible, at least get Mrs B to stay off her back. Lying on one's back is the worst position to give birth in, second only to hanging upside down from the ceiling. Lying on her side allows the bones to move the way they are meant to. Hands and knees is the best position, or a supported squat - the gravity helps, it's often more comfortable for the mum, less damage is done to mum this way and it usually makes for a swifter, less painful labour which is good for everybody.

All the best!

Frank Bullitt

Went well with the midwife who did her handy work, let's see if anything happens as a result. We've just been out for a nice, long walk and my wife went out earlier too.

We have the enducement booked in for Monday night if nothing occurs in the meantime - we are happy to have one, prefer au-natural but such is life and feel confident in the hospital (not the one I work at) - a home birth had no appeal to either of us to be honest.

The coolbox is in the car full of drinks, food, energy sweets and so on - has been for about six weeks (

), all I need to do is take the freezer packs out before we go.

Skyhook

Frank Bullitt

It's not an environment we want to have a baby in, we want to have close access to clinical facilities and everyone we know whose had one planned ends up being transferred to hospital in the end anyway.

Has all the appeal of bathing in cold porridge I'm afraid.

Anyway, no signs overnight so we'll probably be in for the enducement on Monday evening.

TimR

One of my old neighbours had a home birth last year and there was much intaking of breath at this choice for her first child.

As it happened she ended up being whisked into hospital mid way through anyway due to some minor complications.

As a non-parent I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to be in hospital 'just in case'.

Skyhook

Horses for courses I guess, but personally I can’t think of many places less ideal to give birth than a hospital – I really can’t see why anyone would want that.

Everyone I’ve spoken to about a hospital birth have said it went fine…”apart from…” And there is my main concern with the whole thing.

Mrs S would be stuck in a ward, poked and prodded by a stream of staff. Staff who have a timetable to worry about. Baby a bit late for them? Let’s induce! Don’t worry about the pain that’ll cause the mother.
Then there is the birth itself… bright lights, too hot hospital, staff gathering around in masks… and again the rush to give drugs…”This’ll help your muscles tighten after…” yes, and how many women have then had problems with trapped placenta?

Mind, they could give that tightening drug to the Mum at home too - hence a 'transfer to the Hospital because of complications'.

You'd be amazed how many 'complications' are caused by medical staff wanting to rush, administer drugs...

And why do they put women on their backs to give birth? Could there be a more unnatural position?

How soon are they going to want to clamp the cord? What happens when baby is born? It’s whisked away from Mum and Dad to be cleaned and weighed. Then it’s back to the ward, and by the way Dad, visiting time is over – Fu@k off home and leave your wife and child alone and separated in hospital.

We (obviously) want a home birth. For a start we will be more relaxed. No rush, peaceful atmosphere with home comforts. We’ll have two midwives in attendance – personal attention rather than whoever happens to be passing the hospital ward at the time.

Mrs S can give birth in her own time, in the position best for her. I can help out as much as I want, and when baby is born we can both hold her – those incredibly important first few minutes where baby bonds, smells us – us, not a nurse.

We get to say when the cord is cut – after the last pulse and preferably when the placenta is out– not when convenient for the hospital staff. Cutting the cord before that last, all important slug of blood has been linked to Aspergers among other things…

Afterwards, we will be at home in our own bed. We can all curl up together rather than me being sent away from my family – I can’t imagine much worse than that.

So. What if something goes wrong? Well, we will have two midwives in attendance. The Ambulance will be on standby (five minutes from our house), and will be manned by medics – who can also work on Mrs S while we take the 15 minute drive to hospital – during which the operating theatre which would also be on standby will be prepped for our arrival.

The clinical care a hospital birth gives you? Yes, if staff happen to be around and actually listen to what’s happening. Theatres may not be prepped – you know what the average bed-to-theatre time is at our local hospital? Neither did our Consultant which is why we ‘fired’ her. We know – and it’s another reason to go for a home birth.

Of course I realise it’s not for everyone – but we’ve done endless research, mortality rates, official figures, anecdotal stories… I can’t think of many a worse place to give birth than in hospital.

gonnabuildabuggy

It does sound ideal.

My only concern is how could the NHS afford it if everyone chose it? it sounds like a 5 star option (2 midwives permanently in attendance?, theatre on standby).

From what I know it's good for second births, for the first then the "security" of a hospital is preferable.

Roadrunner

I think it all depends upon the hospital. I can very highly reccommend Banbury baby hatching department. The large, comfortable room, staff and whole relaxed ambience of the place was excellent, with every option of pool, ball, position, music, gas, etc available. We checked out the Oxford JR hospital and their hatching department was awful. Just a production line, with pokey, windowless rooms in which to perform. Ugh!

Skyhook

Annndd less ranty... I don't want to make it sound like I think anyone who has a hospital birth is doing it 'wrong' or not caring for the child and mum!

Obviously there are situations where only hospital will do.

Our midwives were pleased we wanted a homebirth - they encouraged it.

And Roadrunner - of course there are wonderful hospitals I'm sure... just not near us...

Mrs Skyhook

Mrs Skyhook

Just for the record, L'il S, who was my first baby, was born at home. 4 hour labour, very little 'pain' (bloody hard work though, like pushing a grand piano up a hill!), 7lb 6oz perfectly healthy little boy. And an experience I would not trade for anything or change one second of, it was beautiful. And no, I was not 'lucky'. My experience has been repeated by the hundreds of thousands of women who've done it but nobody ever gets to hear about because it's boring - the 'doctors saved my baby, I lost x pints of blood, I was in agony for 3 days' stories get a lot more mileage.

Home birth is normal in my family, which is probably why I chose it. For most others, hospital birth is the norm, there's nowhere else to even consider. My sister was born at home in 1972. Between 1988 and 2000 my cousin had 4 babies, all born at home. She herself was born at home. She is now a midwife. Most of the world's babies are actually born at home...

Recent research proves that home birth in the UK for low-risk mums and babies is at least as safe as hospital birth. As an example, roughly 25% of mums in hospital will get a post-natal infection. For homebirthers that rate is 4%. If I went to our local hossie, I'd have a 24.3% chance of eventually facing a c-section before I even got in the door - because that is their rate. 24.3% of women who go to my local hossie to have their babies end up with a c-section, and that doesn't even cover the electives. WHO guidelines are that c-section rates should be between 10-15%, because below and above that rate increases infant and maternal mortality/morbidity.

Like Mr S, I would not knock anyone for the choices they make. However, I think it is incredibly sad that for most people where to have a baby is still not even thought of as a 'choice', it's automatically hospital. General consensus is that birth is dangerous, painful and messy, something we just have to go through and then forget about, and why on earth would anyone choose to go through a difficult, dangerous, messy, painful experience at home when they can be more comfortable in hospital? General consensus is wrong. I would love for people to be able to make an actual informed choice, based on correct information not 'general consensus' and horror stories.

To Roadrunner - here our choices are limited. There are no midwife led 'baby-hatching' units in our area. For us, it's a straight choice between one of two local and uninspiring (read: just the thought of having to give birth in either of them makes me hyperventilate) hospitals or home. Even with that choice, I would still choose home - there is nothing that a midwife-led unit can do for me that can't be done by midwives at home. If there was a problem, I would still have to be transferred to a hospital.

Edited to add: For those who are still reading, and still interested, Google 'cascade of intervention' to see how and why just being in a hospital can cause problems all by itself, leading to interventions that can cause more problems, leading to more interventions and, sometimes, less than desirable outcomes. For sure some women need to give birth in hospital, and others, even given all the information, will still want to, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Frank Bullitt

Mrs Skyhook

Frank Bullitt

I think we are slightly talking at cross-purposes slightly

If having a 'normal' birth free-choice (position, pool etc.) is provided where we are going but if enduced then certain options aren't available - this is true of a home birth also, if 'normal' it all works well, if not choices are reduced and it's likely off to the maternity unit.

Notwithstanding, we have our preferences but sometimes this won't happen; it's never black and white and there is no right or wrong way, you've just got to go with what feels right.

Apex clipper

'Our' Hospital was great! Non of the things that have been posted about grumpy doctors or midwifes ever occured, they let Sue go at her own pace with lots of encouragement.

Thoses birthing pools look ace, I was eyeing up having a quick dip myself.
A homebirth never entered our heads as we would rather be somewhere that if anything tricky happened we would be in the ideal place.

That and machines that go Bing!

Jasper

I hope it all goes well FB. I'll be thinking about you when I'm putting Kyle down tonight and we'll hear from you again, about this time next year.