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Humphrey The Pug

Harassment advice

My eldest is being harassed, primarily by text, by her ex, they are threatening, weird and normal texts, obviously it is getting to her and starting to show.

We have advised her to save them all, which she is doing and not to reply to any, which we think she now isn't but they have lately been coming from numbers that she doesn't know so she has sent the odd "who is this?" text.

Any advice on the best way to tackle this, legal, at the moment?!!
him

Have you tried talking to his parents?

They may be unaware what a cnut their son is, though I guess they could be just as bad?

...I will have more advice once we go down the "illegal" route!  
scamper

change number?
Tim

Contact the mobile phone company and perhaps mention it to the police in case things develop further?
Parm

Surely his number can be barred?
DradusContact

All of the above are good idea's, the police should be informed post haste.  This is a very big thing at the minute and they should work with you on it.
Frank Bullitt

Contact the 5-0 as it sounds like it's got beyond a bit of disguntlement.  Having the texts saved will prove his phone sent them but, of course, he can claim somebody else did it from his phone.  If nothing else it starts the process of recording his behaviour.

Non-legal way?  Set a honey trap and bury him in the woods...alive...having chopped his winky off.
BeN

I would say call the police too.
Humphrey The Pug

Changing her number isn't really feasible as some of their friends and aquantances are mutual, he will manage to get hold of it.

We barred his number and she started to get them from other numbers that she didn't know.

Parents have as much trouble with him as everyone else, they are lovely but just can't control him so there is no point going that route either, he was kicked out a few months ago due to illegal substances being discovered by his mum, however I think he is back.

He is banned from her place of work has he was hassling her there too.

I'll speak to her tonight, find out what texts she has and then take it from there and probably go to the Police.

Bloody psycho boyfriends, we had issues a few years ago with malicious phone calls on the land line from another ex.
Pkh72

If you can't get away with 'doing him' and burrying him in the woods i'd suggest calling the fuzz, a warning may make him see sense and it will be logged.
gonnabuildabuggy

Tell the Police and tell him you've done so.

Log all the numbers text received from and advise them the police are involved and their details passed onto them - if he's borrowing mates phones then that will scare them shitless.

If that fails let me know the numbers and I'll tell them they have been involved in drug running as we've traced their number and soon they will get a visit from some nice people to collect what they owe, with interest.

Failing that get some cards printed offering kinky services and post them in phone boxes in London just to give them a taste of their own medicine.
gonnabuildabuggy

Humphrey The Pug wrote:
due to illegal substances


Telling him that you'll also mention his drug use to the police might make him see sense.

Or maybe the opposite depending on what his level of use is.
TreVoR

This happened to a friend of mine. She went to the Police and it was sorted.
Big Blue

Surrey Police; one phone call; one visit. Job done.

Marlene's brother had this with an ex-girlfriend who turned out to have moved south because of similar injunctions taken out in her native Manchester.
Pkh72

Big Blue wrote:
Surrey Police; one phone call; one visit. Job done.

Marlene's brother had this with an ex-girlfriend who turned out to have moved south because of similar injunctions taken out in her native Manchester.


Blarno

Dibble is definitely the way forward.
Humphrey The Pug

Just contacted said daugher and after telling myself and Tina last night and us expressing to her in the past to keep texts, she has gone and bloody deleted them, arghhhhhhhhhh.

Kids drive me fucking mad, just like us telling her to ignore and not respond to them, she does ignore something, our advice!!!!!
Bob Sacamano

2 burly mates, transit van, 3 balaclavas, dark night. Scoop him up, trip to the woods, scare the shit out of him. Leave him there naked.
gonnabuildabuggy

Humphrey The Pug wrote:
Just contacted said daugher and after telling myself and Tina last night and us expressing to her in the past to keep texts, she has gone and bloody deleted them, arghhhhhhhhhh.

Kids drive me fucking mad, just like us telling her to ignore and not respond to them, she does ignore something, our advice!!!!!


New idea.

Get her to get an 0900 number and then forward calls to her mobile from there. At least she can make money from the harrasser that way.
Big Blue

Bob Sacamano wrote:
2 burly mates, transit van, 3 balaclavas, dark night. Scoop him up, trip to the woods, scare the shit out of him. Leave him there naked.


Yeah: Witley Common is pretty grim at night at this time of year. Lea Coach Road off the A3 between Milford and Haslemere; park up in the clearing; frogmarch him into the wilds, let off a banger to make him think he's endangered then walk back.

Oops - we've gone from advising you to talk to the police to engaging in illegal activity yourself......
TreVoR

Reminds me of the scene in Uncle Buck.
him

^^^ Or True Lies?
DradusContact

SpecB wrote:
Reminds me of the scene in Uncle Buck.


RIP John Candy.
Blarno

It's only illegal if you get caught...
Pkh72

DradusContact wrote:
SpecB wrote:
Reminds me of the scene in Uncle Buck.


RIP John Candy.


Aye, class film Uncle Buck.
Humphrey The Pug

"him" wrote:
^^^ Or True Lies?


Oh yes, that is funny, unfortunately I don't have access to any secret agents!
him

^^^ How do you know for sure?
Pkh72

He can't say.
TreVoR

...or he would probably have to kill you.
Humphrey The Pug

I know a few Policemen, actually my mate in the VIP protection squad may be able to scare him with a gun, now that would be funny.

I would love to be able to be one of those ment that just say, "right I'll sort it"

Jump in the car, go and find him and scare the living shit out of him, unfortunately I'm just not like that.
Bob Sacamano

My missus was being stalked once. Weirdest thing - this guy would wait in a layby until she drove past and then follow her all the way to her work before stopping and watching her go inside. Every morning. Freaked her out a bit.
I considered the police but figured it would be quicker to sort it myself - he got a bit of a shock when he found out I'd followed him and boxed him in at a dead end down an industrial estate. After a few gentle words of truth and encouragement she had no more problems.
Tim

Bob Sacamano wrote:
My missus was being stalked once. Weirdest thing - this guy would wait in a layby until she drove past and then follow her all the way to her work before stopping and watching her go inside. Every morning. Freaked her out a bit.
I considered the police but figured it would be quicker to sort it myself - he got a bit of a shock when he found out I'd followed him and boxed him in at a dead end down an industrial estate. After a few gentle words of truth and encouragement she had no more problems.


Schizophrenia is a terrible thing.  

Would you have punched yourself?
Big TC

If your daughter won't keep the texts, as her if she'll forward them to you before she deletes them, then at least you have a record. If you take your daughter into the police station for a 'chat', they'll surely make her understand the importance of keeping the texts.

I daresay the police will take a dim view of the ex's behaviour - they seem to crack down on threatening behavoir quite hard.

It seems to me that a few of us on this forum have had/are having problems with ex's or neighbours. Maybe we should form a vigilante squad that can be called on to sort the problem out? I'm in!
DradusContact

Big TC wrote:
It seems to me that a few of us on this forum have had/are having problems with ex's or neighbours. Maybe we should form a vigilante squad that can be called on to sort the problem out? I'm in!


If life was more like a video game, (ie getting stabbed didnt kill you) i would love to dish out some vigilante justice.
Tim

Big TC wrote:
It seems to me that a few of us on this forum have had/are having problems with ex's or neighbours. Maybe we should form a vigilante squad that can be called on to sort the problem out? I'm in!


I've never had any bother from anyone in this way but I'm in.

Can I be the driver?
Humphrey The Pug

What can we call ourselves?
Bob Sacamano

Humphrey The Pug wrote:
What can we call ourselves?


Quote:
In 2002 an elite group of motoring enthusiasts were sent to the spare room computer by their better half for a crime they didn't commit (probably leaving the toilet seat up). In 2006 these men promptly escaped from the maximum security stockade of the Autocar Forum to the internet underground. Today, still wanted by various creditors, ex-wives and trolls, they survive as bloggers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Motor Forum Team."
Humphrey The Pug

Bob Sacamano wrote:
Humphrey The Pug wrote:
What can we call ourselves?


Quote:
In 2002 an elite group of motoring enthusiasts were sent to the spare room computer by their better half for a crime they didn't commit (probably leaving the toilet seat up). In 2006 these men promptly escaped from the maximum security stockade of the Autocar Forum to the internet underground. Today, still wanted by various creditors, ex-wives and trolls, they survive as bloggers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Motor Forum Team."


Brilliant.
Big TC

I suppose I could change my i.d. to Mr Big T, and apply some dark make-up.
DradusContact

Any excuse to fire snickers at people, i'm in.
gonnabuildabuggy

DradusContact wrote:
Any excuse to fire snickers at people, i'm in.


     and to Bob's post.
Frank Bullitt

My wife was being stalked when we first met by an ex boyfriend - chucking him out of the club I worked in (in the literal sense of the word) sorted that little problem out, but then I was 21 at the time...
Chocy Rocky

Nice one Bob.

I wonder what's in this little shits mind that he thinks it's ok to behave like that. I think you should call the Motor Forum team in to make a tank out of your lawn mover. That's as far as I've got with the plan but I'm sure it will come together.
..

Oh dear, this sounds awful. It's a shame that she deleted the messages but if she doesn't get any more presumably it's all over and if she does get any more they're there as proof.

Twice in my life I've threatened people and thankfully that was an end to the matter. Stalking and bullying are just not acceptable but it seems that things sometimes have to go on and on and on until something is done about it. Hopefully that won't be the case here and something can be done sooner rather than later.
Matt

What mobile does she have? There might be ways of retrieving deleted texts via a USB cable if it saves text to memory rather than the sim itself.
Roadsterstu

Humphrey The Pug wrote:
Changing her number isn't really feasible as some of their friends and aquantances are mutual, he will manage to get hold of it.

We barred his number and she started to get them from other numbers that she didn't know.

Parents have as much trouble with him as everyone else, they are lovely but just can't control him so there is no point going that route either, he was kicked out a few months ago due to illegal substances being discovered by his mum, however I think he is back.

He is banned from her place of work has he was hassling her there too.

I'll speak to her tonight, find out what texts she has and then take it from there and probably go to the Police.

Bloody psycho boyfriends, we had issues a few years ago with malicious phone calls on the land line from another ex.


In that case, report it. He needs a proper warning with the potential for arrest if he carries on.  Discuss with the police about a 1st harassment warning. A brief statement from your daughter and matey boy gets a written warning valid for a year. Arrest if he breaches it.

Could potentially be malicious communications offences but harassment is quick and low level to start with.

KEEP EVERYTHING SAVED OR RECORDED IN WRITING WITH EXACT WORDS, DATES AND TIMES AND NUMBERS SENT FROM.
Roadsterstu

Humphrey The Pug wrote:
Just contacted said daugher and after telling myself and Tina last night and us expressing to her in the past to keep texts, she has gone and bloody deleted them, arghhhhhhhhhh.

Kids drive me fucking mad, just like us telling her to ignore and not respond to them, she does ignore something, our advice!!!!!


Can still report him for harassment. But she'll have to keep any others. Plus it is up to her to report or otherwise ultimately.
TreVoR

My friend deleted her's as well despite me and her parents telling her not to but the police still went around to give him a warning to stop being a silly little boy and if she received any further he would be arrested.
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