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Woody

Fuckety Fuckety Fuck( or... Trafic takes it in the side)

At 8.55 this morning a green Mondeo decided to pull out of a junction on my left while I was passing. She hit me with enough force that something pointy on her car actually pierced my tyre! She admitted she'd looked left and as someone had flashed her she pulled striaght out without checking properly in my direction.

Cue lots of hassle trying to get another van so I could work today, luckily my Renault stealer is great and offered me a demonstrator van as soon as I could pick it up. So I got my van dragged there and did the swap, hire van should be arriving tomorrow morning.

Here's the pics, first to say it'll polish out gets a great big raspberry:







BeN

It'll polish out.  
kraftwerk

That's ruff. I hope she was collared.
Tim

She'll get dogs' abuse from her husband for that.
kraftwerk

I thought he'd be saying, 'There, there. Don't worry, pet.'
Tim

Maybe he'll be saying 'walkies' as she clearly can't be trusted to drive.
kraftwerk

I'm sure his bark's worse than his bite.
PR

That's a sorry tail. I hope the damage is at leasht straightforward to repair. Was the woman who hit it a WAG? Or just a stupid bitch?

Edited to be serious for a moment - I'm assuming a stupid bitch. I am always alarmed by the occasions when women - it usually is - come flying up to a side turning looking intently to their left, when the traffic approaching from their right (that'll be me) is nearer and in more pressing need of observation.
Mark

Ouch. Did you yelp?
Woody

Tttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppp!!! To the lot of you! (especially BeN)

It's a bit of a dog's dinner though isn't it?

Something good came out of it though - this panel is the one my m-i-l scuffed a while ago so at least that'll be repaired as well.

Oh, and I'm hoping to get the owner of the snack bar in the layby where I pulled over to become a customer! Never miss an opportunity...
Roadrunner

What a bugger. Looks like it is all being handled in a hassle-free manner so far though.
Frank Bullitt

Bad luck, is the van not useable with the spare wheel fitted?  I hope you shook your rolled-up sun at her while flashing your 'crack'
.

Stupid moose.  What was her name, Jack Russell?

Least your OK too.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr

But did she have nice puppies? And did she retrieve 'er bits of trim after the impact?

Seriously though, stories (tails?) like this fill me with horror, that you can be doing everything right but some stupid numpty still manages to clonk you.
Chocy Rocky

I bet you got a big frieght when it happened but it doesn't look all that bad really.

One of our customers landed his LT on it's side but just righted it and drove on. To say it was a bit worse than yours would be fair.
Stuntman

Farkennel!  What a daft lassie.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr

Star69 wrote:
Oh, and I'm hoping to get the owner of the snack bar in the layby where I pulled over to become a customer! Never miss an opportunity...

That's life, sometimes you lose, sometimes you win(alot). He sounds like he could be a pedigree chum in the future.
Twelfth Monkey

IAMShocked by the puns heaped upon you.
kraftwerk

Twelfth Monkey wrote:
IAMShocked by the puns heaped upon you.

We have a WINA! (lot) What a cheeky Chappie you are, old Chum.
Twelfth Monkey

My dogs do poos with carrots in.  That's because they eat carrots, you see.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr

Bet they don't do white ones!
him

Dr. Hfuhruhurr wrote:
Bet they don't do white ones!

Aren't those parsnips?
Twelfth Monkey

If Viz is to be believed, those were the result of eating bones.

Whatever happend to jokes about white dog poo...
Changed My Name

I'd be barking mad if that happened to my vehicle. She's obviously a dog lover, as she managed to avoid the labradoor by a whisker.
Woody

Rodge wrote:
she managed to avoid the labradoor by a whisker.


That really takes the biscuit! A bit of a (cat)nip and tuck and it'll be fine. I'd like to think I took the lead in getting the damage sorted out as well.  

Anyway, I called into the bodyshop today as I was in the area, looks like it'll be needing a new outer and inner quarter panel, corner bumper, and wheel & tyre (obviously), and most of the signwriting on that side renewing. He's going to fix a dent in the tailgate as well (which I bumped ages ago). And he's going to try his cats on Oscar food as well!

Let the punfest continue...
Dr. Hfuhruhurr

I'm slightly worried about what the snack bar owner is going to do with the dog food; I'd be inclined to give the meat pies a miss from now on ...
Blarno

Bad luck that you had to in-cur such damage. I bet you were cursing to hell and dalmation.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr

And he's going to hound the Mondeo driver until she pays up.
DaveGibson

Of course, if she'd been driving a Rover, it would have been different.
kraftwerk

Fur God's sake. Some of these puns are very paw. There were no rex involved. Just a bit of a scratch.
Woody

I've been itching to come up with more. Do you think we can retrieve enough scuff to make this thread a bumper issue with a second page? I'm getting tyred of these puns now though, and feeling a little flat.
kraftwerk

Maybe we should catnip it in the bud.
Woody

Nah, I don't think so pet. I'm sure we can keep on doggedly until the bitten end with this tail. Better go, the WAG's just arrived home.
kraftwerk

See, you've fallen fowl of the number one rule of pundom. ie: no repeats. 'Ken-nel, you're in the doghouse now.
Blarno

Fido-n't think this is going to end any time soon.
Woody

That's a bit ruff! My van's bent, and all you lot can do is cock a leg at me (I didn't even hit a lamp post). What a pile of poo.
Twelfth Monkey

Just goes to show, Eukanuba be too careful...
Woody

Twelfth Monkey wrote:
Just goes to show, Eukanuba be too careful...


Don't you swear at me !!  
kraftwerk

I wonder if the bird's husband never Caesar coming, or maybe he's a Good Boy and looks both ways?
gooner

This is turning into a right shaggy dog story!
Chris M Wanted a V-10

Gooner wrote:
This is turning into a right shaggy dog story!

Nope, but it's a right dog's bo!!ox of a thread
gonnabuildabuggy

Have you thought about becoming Bakers? Complete(ly) safer than driving a van about.

anyway I think it's time this thread was pawsed
Blarno

This thread has some serious Pedigree, Chum.
Twelfth Monkey

I bet a few Bob Martin'll be along soon...
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