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Michael
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:10 pm    Post subject: Headlines you couldn't make up thread  Reply with quote

Swedish man tries to build nuclear reactor in kitchen
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14403432

Quote:
A Swedish man, arrested after experimenting with radioactive material in his kitchen, has said he was trying to find out if it was possible to split the atom at home.

Richard Handl was detained for unauthorised possession of nuclear material when police found quantities of radium, americium and uranium in his flat.

He told the BBC he bought some of the material off the internet.

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BeN
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I heard this on the radio this morning.

What was he thinking?

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BeN wrote:
I heard this on the radio this morning.

What was he thinking?



That energy prices have got ridiculously expensive?
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Bob Sacamano
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I nearly posted that last night - the guy's my hero. He makes my boyhood chemical explosive experiments look pretty tame.
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Big TC
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand that somebody tried the same thing in Barnsley a few years ago, but it exploded and levelled the city centre.

Did 6.30's worth of damage.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This was on the BBC radio as I drove home from work. It was hilarious listening.... bought the radioactive material and parts of his nuclear "reactor"/atom splitter  off e-bay and they came through the post. He once blew up his saucepan/pressure cooker with his experiments because he let it get a bit too hot.
He said the police arrived at his apartment with guns, and their main concern, he thought, was the wellfare of his neighbours
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big TC wrote:
I understand that somebody tried the same thing in Barnsley a few years ago, but it exploded and levelled the city centre.

Did 6.30's worth of damage.


That's where I dropped my fiver!
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mrs PG and I heard this too last night on R4 5pm programme. Laugh out loud funny.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 11:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stop the world so we can reassess reality:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14504208

Would this promote tolerance or ridicule, do you think? The latter for me.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
A statement from the show's makers said: "They remain puppets and do not have a sexual orientation."


I think Miss Piggy would disagree!
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is hilarious Phil.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^ is that sarcastic?  
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PhilD wrote:
^^ is that sarcastic?


Not at all I think it's bloody funny.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Humphrey The Pug wrote:
PhilD wrote:
^^ is that sarcastic?


Not at all I think it's bloody funny.


ah good  
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On a slightly different note!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/u...-being-attracted-to-children.html
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Michael
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That dog waste/post box thing is laugh out loud funny!
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Bryan M
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hilarious and I'll still get the blame when the letters don't turn up
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Dr. Hfuhruhurr
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Humphrey The Pug wrote:
PhilD wrote:
^^ is that sarcastic?

Not at all I think it's bloody funny.

Me too. Actually laughed out loud ...
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Michael
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

An Australian man has been convicted of drink-driving after turning a coolbox into a 'car' and taking it for a test drive.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-14557016
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gonnabuildabuggy
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-14562953

Don't they realise thats who buys their clothes?
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 8:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Michael wrote:
An Australian man has been convicted of drink-driving after turning a coolbox into a 'car' and taking it for a test drive.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-14557016


I salute that man, what a great invention!
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 3:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rook salad off Isle of Wight pub menu on police advice
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-14613257
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Prisoners painted room for ex-minister Jacqui Smith
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14648111
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Michael wrote:
Prisoners painted room for ex-minister Jacqui Smith
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14648111


yeah much better to have them sitting around doing nothing.
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Michael
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is that what they'd be doing when they're instructed to do 'community work'?
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PhilD wrote:
Michael wrote:
Prisoners painted room for ex-minister Jacqui Smith
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14648111


yeah much better to have them sitting around doing nothing.


I'd have preferred to see them painting Jacqui Smith.

With tar and feathers.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bob Sacamano wrote:
PhilD wrote:
Michael wrote:
Prisoners painted room for ex-minister Jacqui Smith
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14648111


yeah much better to have them sitting around doing nothing.


I'd have preferred to see them painting Jacqui Smith.

With tar and feathers.


She'd probably enjoy it.
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Michael
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She looks a lot like Myra Hindley in the BBC shot.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find it more amusing that she is working on a documentary for the BBC, on pornography. Presumably on how to slip it through as expenses.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/a...accidentally-lodged-backside.html

"Air hose accidentally lodged in his backside" mmm wonder what he was doing at the time for it to get lodged there accidentally?!
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Humphrey The Pug wrote:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/a...accidentally-lodged-backside.html

"Air hose accidentally lodged in his backside" mmm wonder what he was doing at the time for it to get lodged there accidentally?!


Without looking our we still talking about Jaqui Smith and her husband?!
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 12:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Accounts of his injuries seem to be greatly inflated.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blown up out of all proportion
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

300 PSi would have torn his ringpiece apart like a dog with a teddy bear.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wouldn't a dog tear your ringpiece quicker if it put down the teddy bear first?
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Mr Durrant said staff were given no training about the potential dangers of the air pipes"

?? Common sense would say if it goes up your ass it's not going to be pretty. What would the training acheive?

You've had a bum deal, get over it.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One good use for an airline: once worked in a factory with a bloke with a ridiculously obvious comb-over.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You wouldn't believe what is retreived from men's arse-holes, around dicks and inside mens choppers too
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 2:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Frank Bullitt wrote:
You wouldn't believe what is retreived from men's arse-holes, around dicks and inside mens choppers too



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Blarno
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 2:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

After having the old dippy-do test and a miniscule camera down my Jap's eye, I can't imagine anything down there being fun or comfortable.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 1:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

New body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled in Florida funeral home

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14114555
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Michael wrote:
New body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled in Florida funeral home

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14114555


I've seen those units. My concerns is the dissolved bodies being poured into the drains, going through sewage treatment and then back to us as drinking water. They say that in London the water you drink has been through seven other people before it gets to you, well that could change to the water you drink being seven other people before it gets to you.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blarno wrote:
After having the old dippy-do test and a miniscule camera down my Jap's eye, I can't imagine anything down there being fun or comfortable.


You obviously don't share the appeal that somebody had over a stalk from a rose bush being insterted

I wish there was a chundering emocion to use...
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Michael wrote:
New body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled in Florida funeral home

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14114555


"...and then I saw the fields with my own eyes. Watch them liquefy the dead, so they could be fed intravenously to the living." The Matrix. Not long now....
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 12:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From BT internet news feed:

Travellers in Farm Eviction Showdown
Irish travellers living illegally on a site in Essex are taking their case to the High Court in a last attempt to overturn an eviction order which could put them on the road.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They could always bugger off back to Ireland. I was amazed at the outpourings on the Jeremy Vine Show, yesterday, claiming that it was ethnic cleansing. Oh fuck off.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whilst this isn't really a headline as per the topic title, was I wrong to have a little giggle to myself when read the I headline?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/a...ikely-hit-meteorite.html#comments
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Player 'completes' Diablo III video game

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-18532670

This 'news' was on the BBC homepage over the weekend.
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow! Well done! The world is saved now!

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